Happy Valentine's Day!

I wanted to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day! Use this day as a reminder to reconnect with your spouse!

Song of Solomon 4:7 "You are beautiful in every way, my true love. There is no blemish on you."

Proverbs 31 Study

I hold the Proverbs 31 Woman, as a woman who's standard's, we, as women, need to follow. Or STRIVE to follow.

She has many qualities, that are very desirable to us, but more desirable to the Lord.

I encourage you to read Proverbs 31.

You will find that this woman has many traits. Elizabeth George wrote "Beautiful in God's Eyes". In her book, she outlines the different characteristics that each of us should strive for. They are as follows:

• Her Character
• Her Value
• Her Loyalty
• Her Contribution
• Her Mission
• Her Heart
• Her Provision
• Her Discipline
• Her Vision
• Her Work
• Her Confidence
• Her diligence
• Her Mercy
• Her Preparation
• Her Handiwork
• Her Husband
• Her Industry
• Her Clothing
• Her Words
• Her Management
• Her Family
• Her Praise
• Her Faith
• Her Reward

Wow. So many qualities.... Are we good in each of these??? Would each of these areas in our lives be pleasing to God??? Ouch. I can personally say, I have a long way to go. A LONG way.

Starting today, I want to cover each of these qualities, as outlined in Elizabeth's George's Book. If you have this book, get it out, and follow along! If you don't, I encourage you to get it. You can go to her site HERE and check it out. She has some very decent prices.

So, my first question for you is, which qualities of the Proverbs 31 woman, do you want to improve on? Which verse convicts you the most?

I hope you join me everyday, as we review these qualities, and strive for God's understanding in who HE wants us to be.

Update on Cheap Dates

For an update on our cheap date entry, go here for restaurants that I have been able to sign-up on their e-clubs. I hope you utilize these resources!

Cheap Date

Yeah, I can be a cheap date. Although, hubby and I do not go out enough. Last week, we did make it out 2 nights! But that's definitely is NOT the norm.

And when we go out, what do we talk about? The kids! What did we used to talk about before we were married? I honestly cannot tell you!

But in today's entry, I am going to try to encourage you all to get out there, and be a CHEAP DATE! With money these days, being so, umm, crazy (???), we all need to think of ways to conserve what we have. And still get alone time with your husbands.

These ideas are not all my own, I have seen suggestions on various blogs and maybe I'll make up some, you just never know.

*** One thing Hubby and I did do back in the day, was go to bookstores like Barnes & Noble or Borders and just look at the books and hang out. Well, right now until the end of October, you can get a coupon for a free Cappuccino to Barnes & Nobles. Go here.

***Send the kids to grandma's and just go out on a "dessert date". Paying for a dessert and a coffee is a lot cheaper than paying for a whole dinner, times 2.

*** But if you want to go out to dinner with your man, I would suggest contacting your favorite restaurants and getting on the e-mail lists. They will often send you coupons for dollars off of dinners or lunches. I did this recently for my birthday. I read the Lonestar Steakhouse has a program where they gave you a free dinner for your birthday. It was true! They gave me $15 off of a dinner. They have since then sent me a coupon for a free appetizer, and some lunch specials. Also, try going through this site to find out how you can get a free taco at Taco Bell on October 28th!

*** Go for a walk without the kids. I know this is a little difficult sometimes, but it is so refreshing! Spend NO money, get some exercise and reconnect that day with your husband. Where I live, my husband has some trails for the boys to walk and play on, but I can put the baby in bed (even take the monitor, if I want), leave the kids in the house playing Legos or with a movie... And we get a walk by ourselves!

*** Rent a movie and put the kids to bed early! Go here and on Mondays and Wednesdays she puts a code on her site for a free RedBox movie. You may have seen these before and ignored them. My Friend, DO NOT IGNORE THE REDBOX! These have movies for $1. everyday! Current movies too! Take the code off of the site and go to the nearest RedBox location (ours is in Kroger (Scott's) in Angola). They just need your credit or debit card information.

*** How about just pawn the kids off on some unsuspecting aunt, and have a date night at home? Eating at home can be cheaper then eating out. So make a nice dinner at home, light some candles, enjoy the quiet of your own home... Ahhh...

Hopefully this will give you all some ideas and encourage you to reconnect with your husbands. We all need to do this, often. Very often. Do you have any other cheap date ideas? Feel free to post them here! Now stop reading blogs... and go make yourself a cheap date!

Our Adornment

My husband thinks I am "goofy" when he asks me to run somewhere quickly for him (store, pick-up something, etc. ) and I tell him I need to take a shower first. I mean I have 4 boys, I can get ready in 30 minutes flat. That is showering, shaving my legs, washing my face, doing make-up, getting dressed, even hair dried! But he still thinks I am funny for having to do that before I can go anywhere! I just don't like to be seen with bed-hair. And a little make-up has never hurt this face! In fact, I am pretty sure it is a necessity!

While I don't think I have made "getting presentable" a priority in my life, I still wonder if I am too worried about it. Especially when I read things like this:

1Pe 3:1-6 In the same way you wives must submit yourselves to your husbands, so that if any of them do not believe God's word, your conduct will win them over to believe. It will not be necessary for you to say a word, because they will see how pure and reverent your conduct is. You should not use outward aids to make yourselves beautiful, such as the way you fix your hair, or the jewelry you put on, or the dresses you wear. Instead, your beauty should consist of your true inner self, the ageless beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of the greatest value in God's sight. For the devout women of the past who placed their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful by submitting themselves to their husbands. Sarah was like that; she obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are now her daughters if you do good and are not afraid of anything.

I mean I have seen women that can definitely pull off the no make-up thing. Pull your hair back and look radiant. Throw on a pair of sweats and tee shirt and make other women jealous. But me- not so much. I need a little work. So what is this saying then? I have looked at other versions of this also (just to make sure, you know?) And there are some that say, "do not let your adornment be merely outward". I like the word merely. It says to me, you can work a little at looking good on the outside, but your real work should be on the inside!

I believe also (but couldn't find the verses before blogging this), that we need to be in a state of not being a distraction from the words that we bring. In other words, if I am wearing something like heavy eyeliner with electric blue eyeshadow, and I come in preaching the word of God, Yes, people will stop and look. But they would probably only be looking because of my poor choices in how I have adorned my body. Likewise, I think if I came in just as I have rolled out of bed, and started sharing the Word, I think I may still be a distraction from those words! I don't think we necessarily WANT to "fit in", but I think we need to look nice. Not "hot", not "ugly", nothing of distraction.

*We should be clean. Yeah! I love being clean. (I know, Am I the only one?) Shower, use soap, wash that hair, shave those legs.... We need to also NOT FEEL like a distraction. If we aren't confident because of how we look, are we being a benefit to the kingdom?

*Wearing nice clothing. Not necessarily TRENDY. We don't want to dress just for OUR comfort, but for the comfort of others. We want to not cause others to sin, by looking at us! Nothing revealing, nothing crazy! I have definitely struggled with dressing appropriately in the past. I struggled with trends as opposed to what is appropriate! Now, thanks to my "mother" body, I couldn't even FIT into something inappropriate if I wanted to! But, I also know I DO NOT want to be a distraction from His message. Let "strength and dignity" be your clothing (Prov. 31:25).

*Don't be heavy on the jewelry! There can be nothing more distracting on some women than their 20 rings, their huge necklaces, 8 piercings on each ear, 3 broaches... you get the picture and I KNOW you know what I'm talkin' about! Modesty. Let your adornment be the Word of the Lord.

*Makeup- also as above, use discretion! Look natural, don't try too hard. When you try too hard, others may think that YOU think you are better than them. Also a distraction.

So definitely dressing our OUTSIDES can be important, but should NEVER come first. Our strength and honor, our words and actions should be our adornment.

God- PLEASE, help me not to be too consumed with my looks. Help me to reflect those qualities ONLY desirable to You. Thank you for everything you've blessed us with, including Your Word. In Your Name-- AMEN.

Crown of Your Husband

In my Bible, one verse that I have marked (in pink) is this verse:

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones." Proverbs 12:4

I love this verse. It shows us LITERALLY what our actions do to our husbands! Do I want to be a crown on my husband's head, or do I want to be like rottenness to his bones?

There are other translations that help us paint a clearer picture here. Some, instead of excellent wife, say virtuous wife, helpful wife, worthy woman. And some, instead of rottenness to his bones, say cancer to his bones.

This shows us so clearly what we do to our husbands when we do good all the days of our lives (Proverbs 31:12), or when we tear our house down with our hands (Proverbs 14:1).

Besides, I want to be a CROWN rather than CANCER, right?

Lord- Help me to remember that my actions not only affect ME, but they also directly affect my husband. Help me to make my husband proud and to be a jewel to him. Help me to be precious in Your sight, more importantly, God. I love You, and praise You for being so loving and forgiving. Thank you, Jesus. In Your precious name- Amen.

Our Priorities

Yesterday was a good day for me! I actually felt like I accomplished quite a bit. I got woke up by a very sad teething baby at 4:45 AM. I had my alarm for 6:20 AM, so I could throw in the Baked Oatmeal (it takes 30-40 minutes to bake). I got up, put it in the oven and layed back down. Then up just before it came out! Perfect! I got the boys up, served them their oatmeal. I started my laundry early... Of course like most days the momentum slows when my hubby is around. (After typing that, he wanted me to cut his hair! So, I just got back.). And some days, there just IS NO momentum. It's like I'm fighting against SOMETHING, just TRYING to get things accomplished!

And how can I, how can WE, not feel like failures when we don't get done everything that a super mom or a super wife should get done in a day?

God calls us to be a lot of things (good wives, mothers, daughters, homemakers, hostesses, planners, etc, etc, etc....), but what if we have a bad day? Or a day that could just be SO FILLED with stuff, we just don't know how to keep our heads above water? WHAT DO WE DO???

The first time a woman emerged onto the scene, in the Bible, what does it say about her?

Gen 2:18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."

God wanted a helper for man. We are called to be OUR man's helper. I always joke with my husband that I am his secretary, but that is kind of what PART of our roll as a wife is! Taking care of the affairs of the household for the boss.

Also, God says this:

Mat 22:36-40 Master, which is the great commandment in the Law? Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.

So His greatest commandment is the we first LOVE HIM! An all consuming love (with our heart, soul & mind!). The second is that we love others, as ourselves. And then it says, "On these two hang all the Law and the Prophets". Everything that we do comes back to these two commands. God first, others second- ALL THE TIME. If we follow those two things, that is everything God commands of us all summed up!

So- back to our original question. What are the most important things? What if I can't accomplish everything?

Well, from these I think we can see that God requires that HE be first in our lives! So each day our first priority, should be that we spend time with Him! And a lot of time, all day long!

The second priority should be our Husbands. God created us FOR him, to be his helper! If that is why we were created, we need to fill the position! Going with this, if our husbands ask that we have certain things in our homes completed, we need to do them! If he likes dinner on the table when he comes home from work, we should do this! But also, if our husbands see that we are putting forth the effort and one day we just couldn't get it all done, I know our husbands will be forgiving and know that we did our best. (God also calls that HE do certain things too, like being loving to his wife!) But we need to put forth that effort!!!

After our husband, of course, should be our children. We need to spend time with them! I consider my children part of my spreading the gospel throughout the world. If I give my children the time, and teach them about Christ, then it will hopefully resonate in their lives for others to see. And spending times with our kids is just important! As I am reminded of in watching my baby, children grow so fast, we don't want to miss any of it. God has intrusted us with children! HE entrusted us. We didn't just decide, or it wasn't just "an accident", HE did it. HE knows the beginning from the end, he knows every hair on our heads, and HE is the MAKER OF EVERYTHING. Taking care of HIS children, is just an extension of loving HIM! (This can be our own, or other kids that we come into contact with or are under our care!)

After these 3 very important things, can come everything else. Keeping in mind what does the Lord want me to accomplish today, what does my husband need me to accomplish today, what do my kids need today, and then what else is a priority? Are the cobwebs more important than your husband or your children? Is sweeping or laundry more important that spending time in the Lord's Word? These are tough decisions!!! But we always need to go back to who is first.

If we are having a tough time trying to figure out what needs to be done first, stop and pray! The Lord knows everything, so He will help us to figure out what will be the best thing for us to do next!

And we can go back to starting our day... we need to start our days out in prayer! We need to seek God and see what HE wants us to accomplish that day. Sometimes His plans may be completely different than ours BUT, isn't His plan better?

I like to call this "bob-n-weave". I love this term, and husband laughs when I use it, but that is kind of how we need to be in life. We need to have a plan, we need to be organized and accomplish things, BUT if the Lord tells us to do something else, we need to be able to roll with it. We need to roll with the punches!

Mat 6:31-34 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Trust

Trust. My husband needs to know he can trust me in all things, all the time.

Looking at the Proverbs 31 Woman, she traveled far to get her food, she was the overseer of their household, she saw some land that she though would be a good investment and she bought it, and on and on...

This woman would have been very attractive to other men in that she must have been smart (to accomplish so much, and being that the Lord "highlights" her in the Bible!), she probably dressed well (in fine fabrics and things she made herself), she was probably also very well known (she probably knew a lot of people because she sold her goods and probably tried to get the best deals on things she could!), and a woman who can do all that the Bible says, she would be a very attractive woman!

But as much as she did out and in her home, the Proverbs 31 Woman's husband trusted her. She probably could have opportunity to "step out" on her husband, but she didn't.

She knew her place, just like we know ours. Lord first, husband, wife...


Pro 31:11-12 Her husband trusts her with all his heart, and he does not lack anything good. She helps him and never harms him all the days of her life.

She NEVER harms him. Do we do that? I know, occasionally, I will cause harm to my husband. A negative word, not helping him with something that he needs, pushing in the opposite direction, etc, etc, etc... But it say SHE NEVER HARMS HIM! In turn, he trusts her with everything!

THAT is something to strive for!

Lord- Help me PLEASE to be like the Proverbs 31 Woman. I want my husband to trust me, fully. I don't ever want a doubt to creep into his mind, that maybe I am not trustworthy. Help me never to harm him. I know in doing this, it not only puts HIM in a good place, but it all shines back to You. Help me to be beautiful to You today, and help me to make You proud, and worthy to be called Your daughter. I love You. - Amen

Good Influence

1Pe 3:1-2 Wives, in a similar way, place yourselves under your husbands' authority. Some husbands may not obey God's word. Their wives could win these men for Christ by the way they live without saying anything. Their husbands would see how pure and reverent their lives are.

My husband loves God and His Word, but this shows me how much influence our actions are! A husband, just by see his wife's actions, could see how good God is. They would "see how pure and reverent their lives are". Another version of that is "While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. "

As I am dealing with my own morning issues, I learn something new with this. I can help start out my husband's day on the right foot. Just by seeing my actions, he can be reminded of God!

What a great ministry as a wife! I can not only start MY relationship off good every morning with my Father, but I can help my family as well.

Early Riser?

No one has ever confused me for an early riser. EVER. I mean mornings are beautiful. Sun just peaking up over the trees behind our house. Birds singing their praises. But me? I'd rather just stay in bed, at least for a little longer.

Recently I was convicted of this fact when I studied the Proverbs 31 Woman. Proverbs 31:15 says "She rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants."

I tried to play it off for a while... "Well, God makes morning people and He makes night people. I'm just a night person!" Right?

Well, that (unfortunately) is not what it says. It says she rises while it is still night. Bummer... So, why does it say that? What is the difference? Why can't I just shift the time from early morning to later in the night?

The Manager of a business should usually be the first one to work so they can over see, give assignments, make sure everyone has everything they need. Isn't the wife kind of like a manager of the household? The Proverbs Woman probably woke up early, eager to start her day, praising God, praying for provision for the day... Then she probably planned her day, in those quite hours before her kids awoke from their slumber. (This woman had a lot to do in her day, so planning was probably a necessity). She also probably planned what her maidservants needed to do that day also. Besides having to "run" her household, she also needs to make sure her husband has his needs filled first, and like most men especially in those days, probably had a job where he also had to rise early, before the heat of the day.

So this applies to me how? Well, obviously, I need to wake early in the morning- BEFORE any of the people in my household. This is so I can spend time in the Word, so I can plan my day, so I can shower (if I wait too long into the day, it's not easy to find time!), and most importantly, so I can be there for my husband and his needs that day. Does he like coffee brewed when he wakes up in the morning? Brew it! Does he like the windows open and the cool morning air flowing into the house? Open those windows! Does he like to wake up to happy wife? Get up, get a good start to your day so when he wakes up you are ready for him! Most of my married life, my husband has woke up to no one, and then after the kids wake ME up, then he gets to see his drowsy wife crawl out of bed... bed-head and all. Lucky man, right... Wrong answer. I have just started when the boys started school this fall, to get up early and have breakfast for them. I need to get up earlier, so I can be ready for them and the day at hand. So I can spend time with God, and so my hubby can wake up to the person he deserves... A happy, eager to serve, wife!

As a woman, we shouldn't just consider this our "duty", we should be happy to do it because this is what the Lord wants from us! So make it your prayer today, to wake early, spend time with the Lord, prepare yourself for the coming in of the day, be ready to serve and pray that you do it with a joyful and willing heart!

Deu 10:12 "Now, people of Israel, listen to what the LORD your God demands of you: Worship the LORD and do all that he commands. Love him, serve him with all your heart, and obey all his laws.